Wonder Woman Progress
There’s only ONE character that I’ve been cosplaying since I started this hobby: WONDER WOMAN.
In 2017, Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman film was released, and it honestly changed my life. It was a superhero film with heart and hope: surrounding the first female superheroine I ever related to and wanted to embody. My abuela bought me the cosplay as a gift, and I wore it to one local convention. I felt incredibly self-conscious about my looks and weight in the costume, and as guilty as I felt about it— I let my abuela’s gift gather dust: because I felt I could NEVER be Wonder Woman.
In 2018, still burdened with disgust towards my own looks, I designed an original concept: a GLADIATOR WONDER WOMAN. While I was incredibly proud of the work I did, the idea was still just pulled from the well of self-loathing I had been sitting in for years.
In 2020, I purchased a soft, faux leather cosplay from Poshmark and modified it in yet another attempt to become the Princess of Themyscira. I spent the entire photoshoot frustrated with my hair and regretting my attempt at giving myself Gal Gadot’s famous pout. Despite my weight loss, I still hated the way I looked.
In 2021, after a year of both personal development and growth on Instagram, I commissioned a set of armor. Despite its flaws, I loved it. To this day, my photos in this armor are the ones I see MYSELF the most in— not an attempt at a character or an actress, but ME.
In 2022, after that armor began to quickly fail me, I repainted it. It was being held together with duct tape, superglue, and love. Those three things allowed me the opportunity to be Wonder Woman for charity events serving children suffering illnesses or struggling with disabilities. I was no longer drawing comparisons between myself and any of the silver screen goddesses to portray Diana Prince. I was just JAY: playing dress up and trying to make a difference.
At the start of 2023, I challenged myself and built a unique armor set inspired by a Hot Toys figure. I had always told myself I was incapable of building something so feminine and complicated, and though this armor will never see a convention floor for the mistakes I made in constructing it— I feel incredibly proud of the work I did to bring it to life.
And now here we are, nearing the middle of 2023— with my second commissioned set of armor. Admittedly, I teared up when I tried it on— it feels amazing to see myself in armor so perfectly close to the one I fell in love with six years ago.
But really, though all the costume changes and improvements are impressive, the biggest changes occurred in myself.
Not the physical growth from a 17-year old graduating high-school to a 22-year old college-graduate, not the 40-pound weight loss, and most definitely not the fact that I finally figured out how best to fill in my eyebrows.
The most important thing for me (and for anyone reading this, I hope) is how I grew as a person, and how I changed the way I looked at myself over the last six years. I don’t wake up now thinking my body is perfect because I lost weight. I don’t think my face is a work of art because I learned how to contour. Loving myself every day is a struggle. The biggest difference though, is that the JAY I left in 2017 was unwilling to do it. She felt she was too “tomboyish,” too heavy, too lonely, too MUCH to love.
In 2023, I still sometimes struggle with low-self esteem and I take stock of my flaws and my mistakes every day. But I also take a moment out of every day to find something to smile about, to point out something I love about myself physically, to take stock of my talents and good qualities, and to do something kind for someone else in hopes to make the world just a bit brighter.
I’d give anything to go back to Jay in 2017 and tell her she’s beautiful the way she is, that regardless of any self-perceived flaws, she IS Wonder Woman. But since I can’t, I’ll tell anyone who needs to hear it.
BE your own Wonder Woman.
It doesn’t take expensive armor, expensive shampoo, a workout regime, or even a well-drawn pair of eyebrows.
All it takes is a belief in something greater than oneself, and a little love.
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