Aircraft

West Jet is (perhaps - Russian) an Airline with head office situated in Calgary, Alberta.

West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety  lecture" and announcements a bit
more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a West Jet flight (There is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight  attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here,  find a seat and get in it!"
 
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On another West Jet Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will  be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance  the appearance of your flight attendants."

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On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

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"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out  of  this airplane."

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"Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

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After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

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From a West Jet Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245 to Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

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"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

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Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines."

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"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

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"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.. Please do not leave children or spouses."

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And from the pilot during his welcome message: "West Jet Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

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Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump,  and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

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Overheard on an West Jet Airlines flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

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Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

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An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.

The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline."

He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.

Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"

The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

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After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced,  we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

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Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of West Jet Airways."

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Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

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Posted by Wonkable:

The time I almost killed an Air Traffic Controller, swear it wasn't my fault



This is the type of plane I was flying at the time, although not the company shown here.  My ex-company didn't survive the pandemic. Embraer 145

It was a beautiful  day, and clear skies. Working a normal flight from Saint Louis to Charlotte, in the morning.


Cockpit shot.

We were climbing to cruise, at about 28,000 ft, on a route that took us over Nashville, then Knoxville, then into Charlotte.

At about 28,000 ft, we heard a loud bang, which is never a good sign on a plane. My first thought was engine failure, so I looked at the middle screen. Happened to see the pressurization gauge, climbing rapidly. Normal is 800-1000 ft per minute, but I'm seeing  3000 ft/min and climbing. The gauge maxes out 5000 ft/min, then goes to amber dashes. Oh crap

About this time, I realize I can't breath, which doesn't mage much sense, as the cabin is only slightly higher than Denver altitude. I take maybe 2or 3 breaths, but it seems like 15 minutes. Captain says " oxygen masks on", and my reaction was "oh crap, masks on". Throw my headsets off, mask on, and the world immediately makes more sense.

We manually drop the oxygen masks, so the people in the back can breathe too, and drop out of the sky. We dropped so quickly, combined with getting a bad frequency to change to from Air traffic control (it happens, usually no big deal, that we temporarily lost radio contact with air traffic control. They have no idea why, but we've just dropped 18,000 ft, with no explanation.

Luckily we were able to relay through a southwest jet on frequency, and get the radio frequency for Nashville approach. This was our obvious choice of places to go, as the airport was on our fight plan.  Super convenient.



We contacted Nashville approach controller, who had no idea what was happening, except that we dropped out of the sky had an emergency, and it was his problem.

By this point, we were low enough to have masks off, and were doing OK all things considered. But he didn't know that. So after we checked in with him, he responded like the micro machine man from the  80s. See you tube link below for those young enough to not know what I'm talking about

https://youtu.be/TzbUPfoveok

To paraphrase, who are you, what do you need and how can I help. Responded that we lost pressurization, and needed to land. "OK, you can have any runway you want, 2L, 2c or 2R, it's up to you, 2C is longest, but if you want, 2L is yours, and have no traffic to it. But 2R is also an option. Up to you, but 2 L is easiest for us. Let us know what you want ". We're fine now, so whatever.

"Also, we need the local altimeter setting, as we didn't get it when we dropped down". Controller : omg, blerg- here is the local weather - wharghabl of weather info, 99% of which we could see out the window.  Ahhh, thanks?

We land 2L, and call operations people. Immediate response, shocking us. "Where were you going, and how many people?". Charlotte, and like 12. "OK, we have a plane leaving in 15 minutes to Charlotte, will hold the flight.  Tell them to go to gate 12(?) to get on the next plane. Great

Get to the gate, shut down engines. Holy shit, that just happened. Within 30 seconds, there's a knock on the door. A mechanic, who works directly with Embraer, is standing there. He reaches up, pulls a circuit breaker, waits a few seconds, and pushes it back in. Problem solved, it will work now.

Really? "Yup, this happens fleet wide every few years. Reset system, and it will be fine ".

We flew the plane empty, back to Saint Louis, at low attitude, to get it fixed. And of course, the  pressurization worked just fine.

In hind sight, felt bad for the the poor controller. He had no idea how to help, and no warning that we were coming.  I can only imagine the stress.

Also thanks to ATC fur the great job they do.  Have saved me multiple times.

Word's first supersonic private jet.

A one off canard equipped F-15 for testing various flight control concepts

Overhead view to show the sweet sweet paint job

Proposed F-16 variant that feature a full delta wing

This is what the SR-71 was developed from.

This provided a ton of data that was used in designing the V-22 Osprey

At the time the smallest jet plane ever built.

Oblique wing research plane.

Early vertical takeoff research plane.

Lifting body research prototype

Successor to M2-F2

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly an Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?"

The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?

Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"

The Airbus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."

The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.

This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.

Dedicated to all my senior friends ~ it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip.