Katzen, katzen, and more katzen

International Cat Federation bans Russian cats from competitions



The International Cat Federation says it has banned Russian cats from its international competitions in the latest rebuke to Russia since it invaded Ukraine last week.

The federation, which considers itself “the United Nations of Cat Federations,” said in a statement that it was “shocked and horrified” that Russian forces had invaded Ukraine and “started a war.” Known as FIFe (for its French name, Fédération Internationale Féline), it said that the measures were decided Tuesday and that officials could not “witness these atrocities and do nothing.”

It said the rule would remain in place until the end of May and would then be reviewed.

“No cat belonging to exhibitors living in Russia may be entered at any FIFe show outside Russia, regardless of which organization these exhibitors hold their membership in,” said the organization, which spans almost 40 countries.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2022/03/03/russia-cat-ban-ukraine-war/

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's lovely voice from the kitchen.

"What would you like for dinner, my Love. . . Chicken, beef or lamb?"

I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."

She replied "You're having soup, asshole. I was talking to the cat."

If wanting to be alone makes you an introvert,

and wanting to be with people makes you an extrovert,

does wanting to be with cats make you a purrvert?

Maryland becomes 2nd US state to ban cat declawing



It is now illegal to declaw cats in the state of Maryland after Gov. Larry Hogan signed the bill into law Thursday.

While several cities around the U.S. have a declaw ban in place, Maryland is only the second state to ban the procedure. New York became the first in 2019.

The law prohibits any veterinary practitioners from performing declawing procedures on a cat unless the procedure is “necessary for a therapeutic purpose.”

The bill states that anyone who violates the law is subject of a fine up to $1,000.

According to the Humane Society of the United States, declawing is an inhumane practice that involves the amputation of the last bone of each toe, which would be equivalent to removing a human’s fingers at the last knuckle.

“Too often, people think that declawing is a simple surgery that removes a cat’s nails—the equivalent of having your fingernails trimmed. Sadly, this is far from the truth,” the Humane Society’s website reads. “It is an unnecessary surgery that provides no medical benefit to the cat. Educated pet parents can easily train their cats to use their claws in a manner that allows everyone in the household to live together happily.”

https://www.azfamily.com/2022/04/22/maryland-becomes-2nd-us-state-ban-cat-declawing/

Happy National Hairball Day!



Cat lovers have all been there. That onerous sound their cat makes when a hairball is on the rise. On the last Friday in April, National Hairball Awareness Day draws attention to a problem many cat lovers face.

The formation of hairballs is a common feline condition that is brought on by self-grooming and the associated ingestion of hair. Cats pass the hair through their digestive tract or will vomit the hairball. If they don’t eliminate the hairball from their digestive track one way or the other, hairballs can create an obstruction. Obstructions can cause serious medical issues for a cat.

Tips for Managing Hairballs

Regular grooming helps reduce the amount of hair your cat ingests. Bushing your cat every day also has the added benefits of reducing the amount of shed hair around the house and offers your cat some extra attention.

Look for products that help to prevent hairballs. Shampoos and wipes may reduce the amount of shedding.

Some types of cat food may help to reduce the amount of shedding too. Designed to improve the health of a cat’s coat, the foods are nutritionally packed.

Shave off all your cat's hair and make gloves out of it.

https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-hairball-awareness-day-last-friday-in-april/

"I'm extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears."

I'm not a big fan of cats. I don't hate them but if I visit your house, I don't want to pat your cat, sit on the couch where it has been, or have you make me a sandwich after patting it. I didn't want that sandwich anyway. The Maxwell House instant coffee was bad enough and when you smelled the milk to see if it was still okay, despite being a week past its use by date, I saw your nose touch the carton.

I actually rescued a cat once; I was walking across a bridge, over a river that was in flood, when I heard mewing and saw a frantic cat being pulled along by the raging torrent. I picked up a fairly hefty fallen branch and threw it over the rail to where the cat was. I didn't see the cat after that but I'm pretty sure it would have climbed on and ridden the branch over the next set of rapids and waterfall to safety.

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From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi, I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.

Thanks Shan



________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I'm surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David
______________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I'm really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today
_________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I dislike cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping and bought a pair of expensive boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails really short. Unfortunately, I lost all feeling in my feet and stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & Coke onto his 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a floor speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David


________________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards, David
________________________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? Im extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think its funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please.

Thanks.
________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook, and look out the window.

I'm willing, however, to overlook this faux pas as you are no doubt preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across a busy intersection or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.

I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

Regards, David



___________________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.
________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster



______________________________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you.

Thanks.
________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,

I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended I wasn't home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.

Please find attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards, David



___________________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. You have a photo of my cat.
________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

Shannon,

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has likely met any one of several violent ends, it's possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says, "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog, I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse, I could drive it to work. I'd call it Steven.

Regards, David
________________________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.
________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



___________________________________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. Why did you even put that there? Apart from that its perfect can you please remove the reward bit.

Thanks Shan
________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



_____________________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
________________________________

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



____________________

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

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Orig = https://27bslash6.com/missy.html

More stuff at https://27bslash6.com/index.html

Now that's some damn good trolling