Jew Stuff, Jokes, and Trivia

Some Interesting Trivia

In the 1940's, it was obligatory for Jews in the performing arts, especially the movies, to hide their Jewishness behind Gentile names.

Thus, Ella Geisman became June Allyson;

Bette Perske, Lauren Bacall:,

Bernie Schwartz,Tony Curtis

Issur Danielovich, Kirk Douglas;

Frances Rose Schorr, Dinah Shore;

Marion Levy, Paulette Goddard;

Muni Weissenkopf, Paul Muni;

Julie Garfinkel, John Garfield;

Allan Koenigsberg, Woody Allen;

Benny Kubelsky, Jack Benny;

Asa Yoelson, Al Jolson;

Charles Bushinsky, Charles Bronson;

Sara Gabor, Zsa Zsa Gabor;

Archibald Leach, Cary Grant;

Chaim Liebovitz, Lorne Green;

David Kaminsky, Danny Kaye;

Dorothy Kaumeyer, Dorothy Lamour;

Mike Orowitz, Michael Landon;

Joseph Levitch, Jerry Lewis;

Leonard Rosenberg, Tony Randall;

Tula Finklea, Cyd Charisse,

The easiest name transition of all, from Jew to Irishman, was made by Lee Jacob, to Lee J. Cobb. He hardly needed to change his stationery. (Which reminds me of the story of the little old Jewish lady named Perlowitz who didn't show up at the fancy party thrown by her son, the Park Avenue doctor, because she had forgotten his new name, Prescott.)

It is interesting to note that in their personal, off-screen relationships - within "The Family"— Hollywood and Broadway performers, producers and moguls always used their Yiddish given names. It was only from the American public at large that they felt compelled to hide their Jewish identity.

Beginning in the early sixties to today, though, Jews no longer feel they have to assume artificial identities to achieve success, although there are still some "throwbacks," well-known movie stars today who have traded in their Jewish names - Laura Horowitz for Wynona Ryder, for example.

Jeff Goldblum is just one well-known Jewish actor who uses his real name. And, of course, the very Jewish "Seinfeld" was just about the most popular TV sitcom of the 1990's.

So, the Golden Age of American Jewry can be defined as that period during which Jews began to feel secure enough to be Jews openly; the waning of that period can be defined by the erosion of Judaism caused by the very freedom American Jews have won to be Jews openly.

The paradox is evident.

There is, by the way, a wonderful story about Louis B. Mayer, head of MGM and the most powerful man in 1930's and 1940's Hollywood, who did everything he could to run away from his Jewishness, except, interestingly enough, changing his Jewish name, to which he clung tenaciously.

During the heyday of the Nelson Eddy - Jeanette MacDonald musicals, it seems that Mayer was dissatisfied with the lack of feeling MacDonald was putting into one of her duets with Eddy.

He summoned her to his office and, telling her to watch him, he got down on his knees and intoned the beautiful and solemn Kol Nidre, the most moving prayer sung at Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, in which the Jew begs God to spare his life in the coming year despite all the sins he has committed. As Mayer sang, his renegade Jewishness escaped from every pore, as tears poured down his cheeks. He was no longer the motion picture colossus, Louis B. Mayer, who commanded the livelihoods and careers of Clark Gable, James Stewart, Joan Crawford, Robert Taylor, Fred Astaire, Judy Garland, et al., but Louie, the shy little Jewish boy praying with his immigrant family in their tiny, ramshackle ghetto synagogue. That day in his palatial MGM office, when Mayer finally got up from the floor, drenched in sweat, he found Jeannette MacDonald too in tears. The story is that she went out and poured her heart into her duet.

The Jew-Gentile-identity Hollywood hijinks of the 1930's produced some amusing incidents.

For example, in 1932 David Selznick (seven years before he created "Gone With The Wind") produced "Symphony of Six Million," a tearjerker about a brilliant young Jewish doctor

from the Lower East Side who turns down fame and riches to dedicate his life to healing the poor.

The ideal actor to portray the doctor, Selznick felt, would be a Jew who could be expected to "feel" the part and thus make it particularly authentic. But no Jewish actor was available, So, after much searching, Selznick cast as the idealistic doctor a young Latin actor named Ricardo Cortez, whose dark looks he thought were sufficiently Jewish-looking to be convincing to a movie audience. Cortez played the part so well that both he and the movie were acclaimed.

Small wonder. Cortez's real name was Jacob Krantz, and the story is that not even his costar, Irene Dunne, nor David Selznick, nor the critics, knew he was Jewish.

Also, a famous Broadway play of the late 1920's was "Counselor at Law." A tale of a Jewish immigrant kid from the Lower East Side named George Simon who rises to become one of New York City's most powerful and sought- after lawyers, the play starred Paul Muni as Simon. When Hollywood bought the play to turn it into a movie, its director, William Wyler, pleaded with Muni to play the part on the screen. Muni refused, because he feared being typecast as a Lower East Side Jew, which of course is exactly what he was.

So the part went to that charismatic Gentile John Barrymore, who played it brilliantly.

Nevertheless, already in the early stages of his alcohol-caused dementia, Barrymore had trouble learning the Yiddish phrases that would make him convincing as a New York Jew, phrases that Muni of course could toss off in his sleep.

WHAT THE OLD-TIME JEWISH COMEDIANS GAVE US

Some of you may not remember the old-time Jewish comedians: Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, and others.
But some of us miss their kind of humour.

Not a single swear word in their routines, and you don't have to be Jewish to enjoy their jokes.


*A car hit an elderly Jewish man.
The paramedic asks, "Are you comfortable?"
The man says, "I make a good living."


*I just got back from a pleasure trip.
I took my mother-in-law to the airport.


*I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years.
If my wife finds out, she'll kill me!


*Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it.
The thief spends less than my wife did.


*We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.


*My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed.
My wife calls it the Dead Sea.


*My wife and I revisited the hotel where we spent our wedding night.
This time I was the one who stayed in the bathroom and cried.


*My Wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the
estimate. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the
mud fell off.


*The Doctor gave a man six months to live.
The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.


*The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."
Mrs. Cohen replied, "So did my arthritis!"


*Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"
Patient: "I AM 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"


*A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest.
The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?"
The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"


*Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"


*A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."
The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."


*Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
They're worth it.


*Why do Jewish men die before their wives?
They want to.


*The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that the reason is Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.


*There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.
In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from law school.


*Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?

A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.


*Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?

A: It's called, "Debbie Does Dishes."


*Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?

A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.


*A man called his mother in Florida . "Mom, how are you?"
Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son asked, "Why are you so weak?"
She replied, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said,"That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
Themother answered, "Because, I didn't want my mouth to be full in case you should call."


*A Jewish man said that when he was growing up, they always had two
choices for dinner - Take it or leave it.


*Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?

A: Under the vacuum cleaner.


*Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a
nuisance to anybody."


*A Jewish mother gives her son a blue shirt and a brown shirt for his birthday.
On the next visit, he wears the brown one.
The mother says, "What's the matter already? Didn't you like the blue one?"


*Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady I haven't eaten in three days."
"Force yourself," she replied.


*Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?

A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.


*Q: Why are Jewish Men circumcised?

A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20% off.

In a large Florida city, the local rabbi developed quite a reputation for his sermons; so much so that everyone in the community came every Shabbos.

Unfortunately, one weekend a member had to visit Long Island for his nephew's Bar Mitzvah. But he didn't want to miss The Rabbi's sermon. So, he decided to hire a "Shabbos goy" to sit in the congregation and tape the sermon so he could listen to it when he returned.

Other congregants saw what was going on, and they also decided to hire "Shabbos goys" to tape the sermon so they could play golf instead of going to Shul.

Within a few weeks time there were 500 gentiles sitting in Shul taping the Rabbi.

The Rabbi got wise to this. The following Shabbos he, too, hired a Shabbos goy who brought a tape recorder to play his prerecorded sermon machines.

Witnesses said this marked the first incidence in history of "artificial insermonation."

If they had Jewish mothers...



MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?"



CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write."



MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?"



NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your jacket and show me!"



ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"



THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"



PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!"



ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair?"



MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:

"Desert, schmesert! Where have you really been for the last forty years?"



BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:

"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"



BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica.

Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents."

They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you!

What'll it be, gentlemen?"

There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.

In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That's 10 cents each, please."

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 cents, please."

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"

"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."

"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.

Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says, "They're retired Jews from Florida. They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price, plus they all have coupons."

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg..Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.� And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.� It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

SIGNS ON SYNAGOGUE BULLETIN BOARDS



1. Under same management for over 5763 years.



2. What part of "Thou shalt not" don't you understand?



3. Shul committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting.



4. Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University : "The future of the Jewish people is in your hands."



More Jewish Stuff

1. My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty. They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.



2. Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.





3. It was mealtime during a flight on El Al. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front. "What are my choices?" Moshe asked. "Yes or no," she replied.



4. An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and is brought to the local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Gevarter, are you comfortable?" Gevarter replies, "I make a living....”





5. A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "shmuck." At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name...and forgot to write a letter.



6. Three Jewish women get together for lunch. As they are being seated in the restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow "oy." The second takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow "oy" The third takes a deep breath and says impatiently, "Girls, I thought we agreed that we weren't going to talk about our children."





7. And one final favorite: A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, "Is anything alright?"

_____________________________________________________________

THINGS I DIDN'T LEARN IN HEBREW SCHOOL



1. The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana.



2. Where there's smoke, there may be salmon.



3. No meal is complete without leftovers.



4. According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish may be eaten only in Chinese restaurants.



5. A shmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.



6. Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.



7. Always whisper the names of diseases.



8. Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?



9. Laugh now, but one day you'll be driving a Lexus and eating dinner at 4:00 PM in Florida .

Happy Good Friday!

SIGNS ON SYNAGOGUE BULLETIN BOARDS

1.Under same management for over 5782 years.

2.Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.

3.What part of "Thou shalt not" don't you understand?

4.Shul committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting.

5.Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University : "The future of the Jewish people is in your hands."

1.My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty. They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

2.Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

3.It was mealtime during a flight on El Al. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front. "What are my choices?" Moshe asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

4.An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and is brought to the local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Gevarter, are you comfortable?" Gevarter replies, "I make a living....

5.A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "shmuck." At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name...and forgot to write a letter.

6.Three Jewish women get together for lunch. As they are being seated in the restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow "oy." The second takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow "oy" The third takes a deep breath and says impatiently, "Girls, I thought we agreed that we weren't going to talk about our children."

7.And one final favorite: A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, "Is anything alright?"
______________________________ ______________________________ _

THINGS I DIDN'T LEARN IN HEBREW SCHOOL

1.The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana.

2.Where there's smoke, there may be salmon.

3.No meal is complete without leftovers.

4.According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish may be eaten only in Chinese restaurants.

5.A shmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.

6.You need ten men for a minyan, but only four in polyester pants and white shoes for pinochle.

7.One mitzvah can change the world; two will just make you tired.

8.After the destruction of the Second temple, God created Nordstroms.

9.Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.

10.Never take a front row seat at a Bris.

11.Next year in Jerusalem . The year after that, how about a nice cruise?

12.Never leave a restaurant empty handed.

13.Spring ahead; fall back - winters in Boca.

14.WASP's leave and never say good-bye; Jews say good-bye and never leave.

15.Always whisper the names of diseases.

16.If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.

17.The important Jewish holidays are the ones on which alternate side of the street parking is suspended.

18.Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?

19.If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can afford it, make sure to tell everybody what you paid.

20.Laugh now, but one day you'll be driving a Lexus and eating dinner at 4:00 PM in Florida.

About Jewish NY City

N.B. The "Forvitz" is the Yiddish name of the Yiddish newspaper, "The Forward."

1. The first Jews to set foot in North America arrived in New York as a group of 23 in 1654.

2. Congregation Shearith Israel, founded in New York in 1654, was the first synagogue in the colonies. It was the sole purveyor of kosher meat until 1813.

3. By the late 19th century, there were over 5,000 kosher butchers and 1,000 slaughterers in New York.

4. In 1902, the Beef Trust raised the price of kosher meat on the Lower East Side from 12 to 18 cents per pound. After butchers’ boycotts proved ineffectual, 20,000 Lower East Side women stole meat from kosher butcher shops and set it on fire on the streets in protest. The Forward supported their efforts, running the headline “Bravo, Bravo, Bravo, Jewish women!”

5. On March 25, 1911, the Triangle Shirtwaist fire claimed the lives of 146 garment workers, the majority of whom were Jewish immigrants. Reporting on the tragedy, the "Forvitz" wrote that ‘the disaster is too great, to dreadful, to be able to express one’s feelings.”

6. When entertainer Al Jolson came to New York City at age 14, he held jobs in the circus and as a singing waiter. Born to a cantor, Jolson's career took off when he began performing in black face.

7. In 1903, the Lower East Side Chinese and Jewish communities formed an unlikely partnership when Chinese organizers put on a benefit for Jewish victims of the Kishinev pogrom, raising $280. (KISHINEV IS IN RUSSIA)

8. In 1930, there were over 80 pickle vendors in the Lower East Side’s thriving Jewish pickle scene. The briny delights were brought to America in the mid-19th century by German Jewish immigrants.

9. The egg cream is thought to have been invented by the Jewish owner of a Brooklyn candy shop. Musician Lou Reed was a famous admirer of the frothy drink.

10. From the beginning of the 20th century till the close of World War II, the Lower East Side’s 2nd Avenue was known as the Yiddish Theater District, or the Jewish Rialto. It extended from 2nd Avenue to Avenue B, and from 14th Street to Houston. Considered Broadway’s competitor, the Jewish Rialto was home to a variety of productions including burlesque and vaudeville shows, as well as Shakespearean, Jewish and classic plays, and were all in Yiddish.

11. The Jewish Rialto’s most popular haunt was the Cafe Royal on Second Avenue and 12th Street, where one could find performers such as Molly Picon and Charlie Chaplin sharing blintzes.

12. Pushcarts were all the rage among Jewish vendors on the Lower East Side from the turn of the century until 1940, when Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia banned their use. Jewish pushcart operators sold everything from vegetables to cigars to stockings.

13. At Sammy’s Roumanian Steak House on Chrystie and Delancey, every table is provided with a bottle of chicken fat as a condiment; resident emcee Dani Luv entertained diners with renditions of Jewish standards and punchy Borsht Belt humor. (It's still there!)

14 One of the first kosher Chinese restaurants in New York was Moshe Peking, whose all-Chinese wait staff wore yarmulkes.

15 The Second Avenue Deli opened in 1954 in the then-fading Yiddish Theater District. It featured a Yiddish Walk of Fame on the sidewalk outside its original location on Second Avenue and Tenth Street, and served up such Jewish specialties as matzo ball soup and corned beef. In 2007, it closed and reopened in Murray Hill.

16. Famed music club CBGB was opened in 1973 by Jewish founder Hilly Kristal.

17 Mayor La Guardia (who spoke fluent Yiddish), who served for three terms from 1934 to 1945, was born to a Jewish mother and descended from Rabbi Samuel David Luzzatto, but practiced as an Episcopalian.

18 The Jacob K. Javits Convention Center was named in honor of the Jewish U.S. senator, who served from 1957 to 1981.

19 Sig Klein’s Fat Men’s Shop opened in the late 1800s at 52 Third Ave., and carried plus-sized clothes for men. Its sign featured the slogan: “If everyone was fat there would be no war.”

20. Abraham Beame was the first practicing Jew to become mayor of New York. He held office from 1974 to 1977.

21 The popular and proudly Jewish mayor Ed Koch, who served from 1978 to 1989, was known for the phrase “How’m I doing?” which he would ask passersby while standing on street corners or riding the subway. Newsday called him the “ultimate New Yorker.”

22. The erection of the Brooklyn Bridge in 1883 and the Williamsburg Bridge in 1903 catalyzed a Jewish exodus from the Lower East Side to Southside Williamsburg. Crossing the bridge on foot, the LES’s Jews left in search of better living conditions.

23 By 1930, more than 40% of New York City’s Jews lived in Brooklyn.

24 Jewish-fronted band, The Ramones, formed in the Forest Hills neighborhood of Queens in 1974.

25 Allen Ginsberg moved to New York to attend Columbia in 1943. He was purportedly related to seminal Zionist thinker Ahad Ha’am.

26. Poet and kabbalist Lionel Ziprin entertained visitors including Thelonius Monk, Charlie Parker, and Bob Dylan in his Lower East Side living room, expounding for hours on Jewish esoterica and history.

27. The bagel originated in Poland, and arrived in New York City in the 1880s in the hands of Eastern European Jewish immigrants.

28. Three hundred all-Jewish New York bagel craftsmen formed a trade union in the early 1900s, the Bagel Bakers Local 338, which established standards for bagel production and conducted meetings in Yiddish.

29 In December 1951, New York City was hit with what The New York Times termed the “bagel famine,” when a dispute between the members of the Bagel trade union and the Bagel Bakers association led to the closing of 32 out of 34 of the city’s bagel bakeries.

30 As a result of the bagel outage, the sale of lox dropped nearly 50%. Murray Nathan, who helped resolve an earlier lox strike in 1948, was brought in to mediate the situation. The outage lasted until February.

31 Coney Island Bagels and Bialys, the oldest kosher bagel shop in New York, was set to close in 2011 until two Muslim businessmen, Peerzada Shah and Zafaryab Ali, bought the store and promised to keep it kosher. Ali had previously worked at the shop for 10 years.

32. Lou Reed was born in Brooklyn, and in 1989 released an album whose title, “New York,” paid tribute to the city.

33 In a reinterpretation of Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven,” Lou Reed asked the four questions at the Downtown Seder at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in 2004.

34 Musician Lenny Kaye was born in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan in 1946. He met Patti Smith while working at Village Oldies on Bleecker Street and went on to become a member of the Patti Smith Group.

35 Starting in the 1970s, hundreds of thousands of Jews left the Soviet Union for New York, many settling in Brighton Beach, which came to be known as “Little Odessa.”

36 Established in 1927, Kehila Kedosha Janina at 280 Broome St. is the last remaining Greek Jewish synagogue in the Western Hemisphere.

37. Streit’s Matzo Company, the last remaining neighborhood matzo factory, stands at 148-150 Rivington St. (Moved to 20 Knickerbocker Road, Moonachie, New Jersey 07074 in 2016.)

38. The oldest Orthodox Jewish Russian congregation in the United States, Beth Hamedrash Hagadol, is still active at 60 Norfolk St.

39. On the corner of Essex and Rutgers, down the street from the original Forvitz building on Seward Park, the Garden Cafeteria served as a gathering place for Jewish actors, artists and playwrights such as Sholem Aleichem and Isaac Bashevis Singer from 1941 to 1983. It became Wing Shing, a Chinese restaurant, in 1985, and now houses Reena Spaulings Fine Art.

40 Seward Park on the Lower East Side was created in 1900. New immigrants worked in the park’s artisan market, and on special occasions such as elections, thousands gathered in the park to watch the Forvitz’s flashing news sign in Yiddish.

41 Jewish gangs rose to prominence during the Prohibition; at a conference in New York in 1931, Jewish gangsters agreed to partner with Italian Americans, and together remained the most dominant groups in organized crime until several decades after WWII.

42. After an appeal from a New York judge, Nathan Perlman, Jewish gangster Meyer Lansky and members of Murder Inc. broke up Nazi rallies around the city for over a year, with the one stipulation that there be no killing.

43 Lines of a sonnet by Sephardic poet Emma Lazarus, who was born in New York City in 1847, are inscribed on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty.

44. The house that stands at 770 Eastern Parkway in the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn is the center and spiritual home of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement. Formerly inhabited by Chabad’s late leader Menachem Mendel Schneerson, Lubavitchers have built replicas of the building all over the world to serve as movement outposts.

45 The first Reform congregation in New York City, Temple Emanu-El, was founded in 1845 by 33 mostly German Jews, and moved to its present location in 1929. Members have included Joan Rivers and Michael Bloomberg.

46. As large numbers of German Jews fleeing Nazi persecution made their homes in Washington Heights in the mid-1930s, the area was dubbed “Frankfurt on the Hudson.”

47. Sweet ‘n’ Low was invented in 1957 in Brooklyn by Benjamin Eisenstaedt.

48. Bronx-born Steve Karmen wrote the jingle "I Love NY”
Bronx-born Milton Glaser designed the “I LOVE NY” logo in 1977.

49. Eight Hasidic dynasties are headquartered in the Borough Park neighborhood of Brooklyn.

50 Outside of Israel, New York City is home to the largest population of Jews in the world.

51. As of 2011, 1 in 6 households in New York were Jewish.

Great idea.


........What a simple and brilliant idea! I particularly like the 'spare' seat announcement ! ! It's hard to beat Israeli technology!

TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis developed an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of the crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate costs of long and expensive trials.

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: "Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is pleased to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London. Shalom!"

At the 2014 Oscars, they celebrated the 75th anniversary of the release of the “Wizard of Oz” by having Pink sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, with highlights from the film in the background. But what few people realized, while listening to that incredible performer singing that unforgettable song, is that the music is deeply embedded in the Jewish experience.

It is no accident, for example, that the greatest Christmas songs of all time were written by Jews. For example, “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” was written by Johnny Marks and “White Christmas” was penned by a Jewish liturgical singer’s (cantor) son, Irving Berlin.

But perhaps the most poignant song emerging out of the mass exodus from Europe was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. The lyrics were written by Yip Harburg.

He was the youngest of four children born to Russian Jewish immigrants. His real name was Isidore Hochberg and he grew up in a Yiddish speaking, Orthodox Jewish home in New York. The music was written by Harold Arlen, a cantor’s son. His real name was Hyman Arluck and his parents were from Lithuania.

Together, Hochberg and Arluck wrote “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, which was voted the 20th century’s number one song by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) and the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA).

In writing it, the two men reached deep into their immigrant Jewish consciousness – framed by the pogroms of the past and the Holocaust about to happen – and wrote an unforgettable melody set to near prophetic words.

Read the lyrics in their Jewish context and suddenly the words are no longer about wizards and Oz, but about Jewish survival:

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There’s a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,

And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can’t I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can’t I?


The Jews of Europe could not fly. They could not escape beyond the rainbow. Harburg was almost prescient when he talked about wanting to fly like a bluebird away from the “chimney tops”. In the post-Auschwitz era, chimney tops have taken on a whole different meaning than the one they had at the beginning of 1939.

Pink’s mom is Judith Kugel. She’s Jewish of Lithuanian background. As Pink was belting the Harburg/Arlen song from the stage at the Academy Awards, I wasn’t thinking about the movie. I was thinking about Europe’s lost Jews and the immigrants to America.

I was then struck by the irony that for two thousand years the land that the Jews heard of “once in a lullaby” was not America, but Israel. The remarkable thing would be that less than ten years after “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” was first published, the exile was over and the State of Israel was reborn. Perhaps the “dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”.

Two Texans are sitting on a plane from Dallas and an old Jewish man is sitting between them.
The first Texan says, "My name is Roger. I own 250,000 acres. I have 1,000 head of cattle and they
call my place The Jolly Roger."

The second Texan says, "My name is John. I own 350,000 acres. I have 5,000 head of cattle and they call my place Big John's."

They both look down at the little old Jewish man who says, "My name is Irving and I own only 300 acres."

Roger looks down at him and says, "300 Acres? What do you raise?"

"Nothing," says Irving.

"Well then, what do you call it?" asked John.

"Downtown Dallas".

MOISHE

Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the Congregation departed.

The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these words at him: "You need to join the Army of God!"

Moishe replied: "I'm already in the Army of God, Rabbi."

The rabbi questioned: "Then how come I don't see you except for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?"

Moishe whispered back: "I'm in the secret service."

IT HAPPENED IN SHUL

Rabbi approaches a guest in Shul and says, "I'd like to give you an Aliyah. What is your name?"

The man answers, "Esther ben Moshe."

The Rabbi says, "No, I need YOUR name."

It's Esther ben Moshe," the man says.

"How can that be your name?" asks the Rabbi.

The man answers, "I've been having financial problems, so everything now is in my wife's name."

HIGH HOLIDAY

Two little old ladies were attending a rather long Shul service. One leaned over and whispered, "My tuchas is going to sleep. "

"I know," replied her companion, "I heard it snore three times.

Doctor Bloom, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a waiting-room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office, and emerged within half an hour walking completely erect, with her head held high.

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?"

She answered, "Miracle, shmiracle. . . he gave me a longer cane."

THE DIFFERENCES

The Italian says, "I'm thirsty. I must have wine."
The Frenchman says, "I'm thirsty. I must have cognac."
The Russian says, "I'm thirsty. I must have vodka."
The German says, "I'm thirsty. I must have beer."
The Mexican says, "I'm thirsty. I must have tequila."
The Jewish man says, "I'm thirsty. I must have diabetes."

PHILANTHROPY

A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics.

He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?"

"No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer."

"Never heard of him," said the visitor. "What did he write?"

"A check," replied the guide.

ROWING TEAM

Yeshiva University decided to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they lose race after race. Even though they practice and practice for hours every day, they never manage to come in any better than dead last.

Finally, the team decides to send Morris Fishbein, its captain, to spy on Harvard, the perennial championship team.

So Morris schlepps off to Cambridge, Mass., and hides in the bushes next to the Charles River, where he carefully watches the Harvard team at its daily practice.

After a week, Morris returns to Yeshiva.

"Well, I figured out their secret," he announces.

"What? Tell us! Tell us!" his teammates shout.

"We should have only one guy yelling. The other eight should row."

CHANUKAH STAMPS

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk "May I have 50 Chanukah stamps please."

"What denomination?" says the clerk.

The woman says "Oy vey ... my God, has it come to this? Okay, give me six orthodox, twelve conservative and thirty-two reform!"

THE CITIZENSHIP TEST

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class.

He was asked to spell "cultivate," and he spelled it correctly.

He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile, responded: "Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home."